Politics, economics, crises, terrorism – these are some of the serious topics that journalists cover every day.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with them!
So here, we’ve compiled some funny jokes on journalists that will surely bring a smile to your face.
So, sit back, relax, and enjoy these light-hearted jokes on journalists.
One Line Jokes On Journalists
- What do you call a journalist without a deadline? Unemployed!
- What’s a journalist’s favorite exercise? The “press” up!
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of music? Press “release”!
- Why did the journalist take up astronomy? Because they wanted to write about the “stellar” events.
- How do you make a journalist stop talking? Give them a deadline!
- How do you find a journalist at a party? Don’t worry; they’ll find you and start asking questions.
- Why did the journalist bring a broom to the office? To sweep up the “lead” stories.
- Why did the journalist break up with their editor? They just couldn’t find the right “angle” for the relationship.
- How do journalists prepare for a big interview? They “press” their clothes.
- Why did the journalist become a gardener? Because they heard it was a good way to “dig up” dirt.
- How do journalists greet each other? “Have you heard any ‘breaking news’ today?”
- Why do journalists make terrible detectives? They always jump to conclusions!
- How does a journalist decorate their home? With “headline” art, of course!
- Why did the journalist bring a ladder to the newsroom? Because they heard the stories were always “higher” up.
- Why did the journalist start a gardening column? Because they wanted to cover “groundbreaking” news.
- Why did the journalist bring a camera to the bakery? To capture the “pan-ful” pastries.
- How do journalists settle disagreements? They have a “press” conference.
- What did the journalist say to the detective during an interview? “I’m just here to ‘report’ the facts.”
- What’s a journalist’s favorite game show? “Who Wants to Be a Million-Word-aire?”
- Why did the journalist always carry a first-aid kit? In case they stumbled upon a “breaking news” story.
- How do journalists organize their bookshelves? They use the “inverted pyramid” method.
- Why do journalists make terrible comedians? Because they can never resist the urge to fact-check the punchlines.
- How do journalists take their coffee? With a “lead” and two “sources.”
- Why did the journalist start a seafood column? Because they wanted to dive into “fishy” stories.
- How do journalists make decisions? They flip a “news coin.”
- Why did the journalist start a cooking show? Because they wanted to be the “hot topic.”
- What’s a journalist’s favorite holiday? “Deadline Day.”
- Why did the journalist bring a compass to the zoo? To find the “bear”-ing on the story.
- How do journalists apologize? They issue a “retraction.
- Why did the journalist bring a magnifying glass to the library? To find the “fine print.”
Situational Jokes on Journalist
1) At a zoo, a journalist was interviewing a zookeeper and asked, “What’s the laziest animal here?”
The zookeeper pointed to the journalist and said, “The one with the notebook and pen!”
2) A journalist was interviewing a scientist who studied gravity. The journalist asked, “What’s the best way to explain gravity to someone?”
The scientist replied, “Well, it’s the force that keeps journalists grounded, or else they’d be floating in the air!”
3) At a tech conference, a journalist asked a computer scientist, “What’s the key to writing a great algorithm?”
The scientist replied, “Well, it’s all about the ‘if-then-else’ statements, just like handling politicians.”
4) A journalist interviewed a stand-up comedian and asked, “How do you come up with your jokes?”
The comedian laughed and said, “It’s easy; I just attend press briefings!”
5) Two journalists were at a costume party, and one was dressed as a dictionary.
The other journalist asked, “Why are you a dictionary?”
The first journalist replied, “Because I wanted to be the one with all the definitions!”
6) Two journalists were stuck in an elevator with a politician. As the elevator started moving again, the politician said, “I hope this doesn’t make the front page.”
One journalist quipped, “Don’t worry, we won’t publish it unless it’s a ‘rising’ story!”
7) At a journalism seminar, an aspiring reporter asked a veteran journalist, “How do you handle all the stress?”
The veteran journalist responded, “I meditate every morning. It’s the only way I can stay calm while waiting for the next deadline to attack!”
8) Friend: “What do you do when you can’t find a source for your story?”
Journalist: “I write about ‘anonymous insiders’ and hope the readers think I have secret contacts!
9) Weather Reporter: “Oops, I accidentally combined the weather forecast with the stock market report today.”
Viewer: “So, what’s the forecast for my portfolio?”
10) Journalist: “I just realized, being a journalist is a lot like being a gardener.”
Friend: “How so?”
Journalist: “We both dig up dirt for a living!”
11) Journalist 1: “I once covered a story so groundbreaking that it won a Pulitzer Prize.”
Journalist 2: “Well, I’ve been on assignments so dangerous they made action movies about them!”
Journalist 3: “That’s nothing! I’ve exposed a conspiracy so massive it made it to the front page of every newspaper.”
Enter Journalist 4, Grinning
Journalist 4: “You all are amazing, but I have breaking news – I finally managed to make a deadline!”
